I make no assumptions about having readers. And had I had any a few weeks back when I began this blog, I've surely run them off by my inactivity. Oh well, the past is what it is.
Still, I find myself wondering if anyone else has been finding him-or-herself rather full of anxiety these days. I suspect that separation anxiety is one of the causes of my unease. My oldest daughter recently spent three weeks in Europe, traveling and seeing friends from high school and from her freshman year of college (she'll be a sophomore this year). Although she is now home safe and sound (and with a rather large digital card full of wonderful pictures), I'll admit to feeling a bit nervous with her an ocean away. Then this whole war in the Middle East has sort of freaked me out. I just don't see where it will end. You've got a strong militaristic state (Israel) who justly feels persecuted by other states in the region, and fanatical Islamic groups (and in the case of Iran, nations) who want to wipe said state from the face of the earth. Caught in between is the United States (and her nominal allies), Russia, and moderate Arab states. Oh yeah, and most of the world's supply of oil. It doesn't take too much pessimissm to see the beginings of WWIII in this picture. And even if we manage to avoid that, there are God-knows-how-many nuclear warheads that were once assigned to countries that are now in the former Soviet Union and that may or may not be accounted for, and hence may or may not be available to various terrorist groups who would love nothing more than to make 9/11 seem like small potatoes.
Oh, and have I mentioned global warming? Despite the reaction of those who reactively reject any claim by the American left, there seems to be good scientific evidence that this is indeed happening, and that we have no good idea where it will all lead.
Two mornings ago, I thought about all of these things between 4:00 and 4:30 am. And while I kept reminding myself that the God who brought the universe into existence by the mere fiat of his will, and who counts the falling of each sparrow--that this God is finally in control of whatever mess of things us humans make, still I couldn't help shake the thought that God would still let us suffer the consequences of our foolishness, even if in the end such consequences are only temporary. God is just and yet gracious. God help us.
So I'm wondering if anyone who might read this has the same problem: do you wake up in the middle of the night, feel the weight of the world, and worry that your kids will end up paying for the foolishness of our generation (after all, it's not our kids' faults that we've wasted natural resources, neglected signs of global warming, worried more about our income than about the poor, and elected George W. Bush (twice!) as President)?
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6 comments:
Tom,
I've spent some sleepless nights, but usually it's about things closer to home -- about some decision I have to make where I'm not sure what is the right thing to do, or about a boy I know who has to have his leg amputated, or about someone I love who is dying. For me, the problems closest to me are the ones that loom largest. I'd surely feel the same way you did if it had been my daughter sightseeing in Europe.
I'm not sure what that says about me, but I thought you might find it interesting.
Tom - I don't become nearly as emotionally involved with all of these global problems now that I watch almost no TV news.
Yes - the Israel/Lebanon war is sad, but as you know it's not the first regional war and probably not the last.
Global climate change (in the 70s it was cooling)causes little angst. Thanks in part to the lefties the air and water is cleaner, but will never be pristine.
But, I'm with Tim, my greatest concerns are for family and friends. I worry about my children (4 and 6)mostly, but they too are in the Lord's hands!
Thanks for your comments, Tim and Nancy. In a way, they help calm my anxiety...at least my 10:50 pm anxiety. I'm not always convinced of the rationality of my fears at 4 a.m. and that's part of what makes them so disconcerting.
But I do take global climate change pretty seriously, and when I think of the degree of anti-American, fundamentalist Islamic sentiment across the globe, I do get concerned. There are lots of nukes out there that may or may not be carefully guarded by former Soviet states. This combination causes me serious anxiety.
For the record, my daugher returned from Europe safe and happy. So I suppose I have one less reason for such late-night anxiety.
Thanks for writing Becky and Tim...
Tom
Tim and Nancy....the more I think about it, the more I want to say that the main cause of my late night anxiety was the current condition of the planet and what that implies for my children who are 27, 30, and 33 years younger than I am. So in a way, I agree with you: what was causing me this anxiety was really a concern closer to home: would my kids be able to be reasonably happy in the world that we are leaving them? Yes, I do know that if one knows God and one's place in the world, then one has found happiness. I know that and I believe it. But I still wonder how one would feel that if the world is collapsing in around them. Might they not reasonably wonder where God is?
Tom,
I'm pessimistic about the chances of the US surviving another 50 years without a nuke going off on American soil. Very pessimistic. But there's virtually nothing I can do about it except to stay out of major population centers. As they say in the Marines, don't bunch up.
I'm a lot less pessimistic than you are about climate change, since (A) I'm not persuaded that there's a dramatic, irreversible change going on, and (B) I think the change that is going on is almost entirely independent of human activity. I realize that we probably disagree on both of these points, and I'm not trying to pick a fight, just explaining why that isn't a worry of mine.
Tim,
I don't take your response to be fight picking in the least; I appreciate the discussion. And my position regarding global warming isn't overly informed. But from what I've read, it seems that the scientific community generally supports the view that humanity has a hand in the apparent climate change many believe to be documented. Of course, there are others in the scientific community who aren't convinced. But when so many have economic and political interests that would be well served if humans weren't at all responsible for warming, I tend to take this minority view with a large grain of salt.
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